I'm still keeping this blog alive!

So...I have started my Manchester blog and it will actually be more like a travelogue. Here is the address:

http://www.ambitiousamericanabroad.blogspot.com

I still want to use this blog and I really want to use it for more private stuff. So I'm going to make it private and keep the other one public. So....first. I don't know how to make this private. Janette or Dad, will you explain this process. Second, send me your email so I can add you to the list.

Gracias por favor! ;D

Creepy Little Girl

Katy called me that at work. She was getting her hair cut and when she was finished, I had stopped in the middle of the hair area and I guess I was staring at her with my mouth open (in my defense I was trying to compare and I couldn't remember what length she had before) and then she turned to me and was like, "Yes Michelle? You creepy little girl..." hahaha. Then I blushed and ran into the staff area. I guess I am a little creepy sometimes. I don't try to be. I'll have to be more aware of my "creep" factor from now on.

My track record isn't so good on what people have complimented me on: goofy smile, squinty eyes, creepy little girl. My goodness, I sound like a mass murderer...

Arya

Chenona tried to make fun of herself the other day for not knowing about the year 1776, but then she made it worse by calling it the Civil War, hahahaha. I love her~

So I finally figured out how to pronounce Negar's sons name: it's Arya, not Aurea. But she draws it out, so I couldn't tell what she was saying. Dad made fun of me, of course, for not knowing the name of the kid I've been babysitting. In order to "bond" with Arya the last time I was there, she pretended to have dropped off his guitar (from guitar hero) at my place, but she just left it outside and it had his name on it. There you go.

It's good that we had that night. I brought board games as well for him and Negar said that he told her how much he liked me the next day. That's good. I always prefer the kids I baby-sit to like me more than the parents since I'm with them longer. Tonight I'm going back to baby-sit with quite a few more board games. I only brought two last time and we played them several times before alternating on the guitar hero. And then we had watched TV. That kid didn't go to bed until 2 in the morning. He actually asked me to leave so he could go to bed. Dang. So tonight I'm definitely going to be a little firmer about making sure he gets to bed earlier. Negar told me he goes to bed whenever on the weekends, but she was shocked by 2 am, so that must be late even for him.

So I haven't said anything yet about neurofeedback and I definitely wanted to write about it. I'm probably at, hmm, my 15th session or thereabouts now. I went to go see Betsy's superior, Dr. Hughes, for a while. She lives in Ashland in this absolutely beautiful home and setting. We do it on her porch so it always put me to sleep because it was mid morning and it was gorgeous outside. A lot of emotions came out at first. I didn't realize she was a therapist as well so for one session I just cried and talked pretty much. I'm not sure if I was like that because of the feedback or just life at the time, but that was a one time occurence, so it might have been the feedback...I also noticed feeling "smarter" and less want to do my usual habitual activities. I was transferred back to Betsy, mostly just because of cost--I loved Dr. Hughes. And Betsy has these cute dogs! They recognize me every time I come over and jump on me. Every time I go, I remember how badly I want a dog. I was okay throughout my vacation and then this past week I got all spacy and loopy again so I went back on Wednesday. I've been learning a lot about how my brain works, it's been fascinating. Betsy said the changes would be permanent so I could stop after a while or I could keep going if I needed, say, to get relaxed, or extra help. She's going to help me find someone in England so I can continue doing this. She showed me graphs that chart my improvement and what they mean. She's really good about showing my improvement, which makes the whole thing easier to understand. I've done some different games: theres a pac-man game, a game where you fill out a highway with colors, a bouncing square game and of course, the 4mation game, where a puzzle is unlocked.

I haven't been writing cause I've been concentrating more on keeping up in my journal and I don't like to write about stuff twice. I had work this morning and a glorious three hour nap just now. I'm exhausted. I wonder if I have mono, just like David...just watch. I'll ignore it until my temperature spikes two days before I leave for England. Wouldn't that be just my luck?

I just realized my settings are still set for Mountain Time. Maybe I should fix that.

Negar and Katy

The spa is shaped like a big loop 8 and I have to take care of all the stations, so I am constantly in motion and even when I get to the back room, I am folding and it requires me to stand to pull towels, sheets and robes out of the waist high bins. And the washing machines are large on the inside, but there is a small rubber like opening, so I literally have to pull huge chunks of wet clothes through it. I can't have flobby arm muscles, that's for sure. I also have to put robes into a neck high drying machine so I have to lift everything up. It's a lot of exercise and it can be really tiring.

So imagine my frustration when one spa attendant left on vacation and the other called in sick. I have been working long days recently. It was really hard on Friday because I had to baby-sat for Negar again Thursday night and I didn't leave her house until 3 in the morning (only to wake up again at 7:30 and go to work till 4:30 with just a half hour break). Yesterday, I worked even longer. I stayed till 6 pm because it was a Saturday and they needed extra help, but I gained strength as the day went on, as if someone was giving me the strength so I know it was the Lord helping me. Then, another blessing: I had to baby-sit for Negar again last night. Usually, she likes me to come over around 10 or 10:30 at night and she doesn't get back till 2 or 3 in the morning cause she goes out to bars with her boyfriend, Koran. But last night, her son Aurea called her from in his room and faked that he was sobbing so they came home and he was actually fine because he just wanted his mom home. So I got to leave before midnight and I still got paid. Nice.

I love my co-workers. Negar, for instance. I found out she is Iranian, or Persian. She is very pretty. And last night I walked in and Koran and her were drinking Red Bull and a clear alcohol, which I found out was Tequila. They were mixing them together and Koran had cigarettes ready for the bar. Koran told me about how he grew up in India and they went camping in Nepal once and all around them were marijuana fields for this local village and I mean...just aplenty marijuana. Well, since they were at a high altitude, they brought candy to keep their mouths sweet and watery so they didn't dry out and the villagers only wanted a little candy in exchange for bundles of marijuana because it was in such abundance. And even higher up, apparently, the marijuana turns to hash, an even purer form of marijuana. He was telling me this because I told him I don't drink. He asked if I was of age, I said yeah, I just choose not to. Negar hugged me and was like, "She is so innocent and naive." They asked me how I met people and I explained I knew people who don't drink and I stay in those circles. So I liked Koran. He was very open and talkative and when they came home, he was like, "You talk more than Emily. I like that." (Emily is the other spa attendant that baby-sits for Negar)

Oh and Katy. haha. I think Katy is my absolute favorite co-worker right now. She's crazy. I'll walk in and she'll be making these weird noises and sounds. Like yesterday morning she was contorting her face like she was in a car, "This is TOO FAST. This is TOO SLOW. This is JUST RIGHT." And she is reading a book about a plane crash in the Andes that happened in the 80's and she was telling everyone about it yesterday. Oh and I love this: I walked in once and theres coffee rinds all over the floor and shes grunting and picking it up and I said, "What happened?" "I tried to pull it out and it spit at me." (we only have one coffee machine, its ancient and everyone hates it)and then as she was cleaning up, she grunted, "I also love that our coffee has a name." There is a company label on the coffee and its a boys name. So Katy says in a gravelly voice, "CURTIS. Curtis is being a bitch today." hahaha. I couldn't stop laughing.

1776? What happened then?

On Thursday, I was reading "1776" by David McCullough for a few minutes at work (taking a break from folding towels hour after hour...) and Chenona (my very very cute boss who is black and has short choppy hair and speaks in a really high voice and always wears really cute black dresses and gold jewelry....can you just picture her now?) comes in and is like, "What are you reading?" So I told her: "1776." "Oh. What happened then?" It took me a few seconds before I realized...she was being serious. So I said, "The revolutionary war started. The declaration of independence was signed." And she started laughing and not wanting to appear like a know-it-all to my boss, I said, "Well I'm a history major..." And instead she was like, "I should probably learn more about history. What kind of books would you recommend? For learning some basic history?" And I said, "Such as?" "Such as when someone says they're reading a book called 1776, I'll know they are talking about the revolutionary war." I seriously couldn't believe I was hearing this. And she was telling me that the day before she'd gone to an orientation for Strayor University---she is starting her masters in business administration. MASTERS! And yet she didn't know about the year 1776. When we were celebrating its events in two days. Oh. my. gosh. I know there are many Americans who celebrate holidays without even knowing what they are for. But Independence Day! I mean...really?!!!

We went to see the Nationals play in DC on Friday. Just me and dad and David cause Katie wanted to watch a movie with another boy. Even though she'd watched a movie Thursday night with a bunch of boys as well. But it was nice to bond with the boys in my family. My favorite was later that night in the subway where we'd finally found a relatively people-free spot, David hugs dad in that creepy way of his and says, "Dad. You're the compass in my pocket." And dad laughs and says, "And you're the fly in my soup." I started laughing hysterically and after about ten minutes David goes, "I don't get why that was funny."

An Eventful Sunday

Fellow minions.

After getting out of a conversation with Andre about whether I was as short as him, I was jump-attacked by a random blonde kid. The first thing out of his mouth was not "Hi, my name is...." or "Hi, what's your name?" It was "Would you like to go on a date this week?" And I said, "Um...what's your name again?" Okay, so I did say yes first, because I was impressed by his boldness. But honestly I've never spoken to him in my life. I don't even think he got my name. He almost walked away without my number until I asked if he wanted it. And he said, "Can I?" Good grief yes. If you want to go on a date with me, you probably better be able to contact me.

I haven't written about this, but this isn't my first ward date. I got "auctioned off" at a ward activity to another guy and he actually followed through a week ago. We went to the batting cages and then to a brazilian chiarruscuro or something like that. If you've never been to one of these places, they're kind of cool: you get what you want from the salad bar and a little card on the table facing either green or red indicates you want meat. Several servers come up and offer different selections of meat. It's definitely a meat lovers place.

So its late at night and dad's gone to bed. David is downstairs watching some cartoons and I'm on the computer. David asks where Katie is and I just shrug and say, "Probably in her room." I turn off the computer and head into the playroom to get something. About halfway up the stairs, I look up and see Katie's head staring at me from around one of our floor chairs. She looks like a deer caught in headlights, waiting for my reaction. I make a Janette/Dad/Tim the Tool Man Taylor Noise (only a select few oughta know what this sounds like) Then I look past her and see that she's in the middle of playing Guitar Hero. And then I start making fun of her. I'm like, "Whatcha doing Katie?" And then she was like "Don't tell David I do this! Cause he'll want to come in here and play with me. And he's annoying." So I was laughing and I said, "Do you do this often? Did I just happen to *catch* you?" And she grinned and was like, "Yes. I sneak up here when no ones looking." So I continued to poke fun of her for playing Guitar Hero and then when I went downstairs, I had to put on my serious face again for David. And then I just heard Katie come downstairs and when David asked where she was, she said "Nowhere."

I know her secret now. I know what she does when no one is watching.

Katie's going to come with us to SEAL team "Bring a Friend Day" We've prewarned Katie about how horrible it is and that it's pretty much hell and she still wants to come. Her reason? "I figure if Dad and Michelle can do it, than I can probably do it because I work out." I can't wait for Thursday. It's gonna be good. I'm going to prove my physical superiority.

I showed Katie my blog and she was laughing so I said, "Is that pretty much how it went down?" and she said, "No, I didn't say any of those things." And I said, "Well, what did you say?" And she said, "I can't remember." And then when I continued laughing, she was like, "Can you take your giggles and go elsewhere because I'm trying to watch a SERIOUS show."

Update: Since I'm a good big sister, I didn't publically write about what happened at Bring a Friend Day. But let's just say....I was right, lol.

What You've Missed....

Amanda Came
---tuesday night. A marathon of "House" and "So You Think You Can Dance" episodes followed with lots of apple/pb eating. I had Wednesday off so we went shopping together. Family bonding. Actually, I've been trying to save so I only bought a tropical smoothie. I followed Amanda around to different places while she tried to think of things she could buy with her wedding gift cards. Amanda says she remembered halfway through why she doesn't shop with me that often. I took Amanda to Buena Vista Friday morning and she started her four day journey to New Mexico with Summer. Her first stop last night was in Kentucky to visit Summer's aunt and uncle and she should be somewhere in St. Louis tonight. I think her final stop tomorrow is in Wichita, Kansas and then she should be in New Mexico Monday night.

Seal Team Hiatus?
So I pretty much didn't attend Seal Team last week. So you haven't missed much in the way of updates. But that only meant it was much harder to return to Seal this past week. I still only attended three days, from tuesday to thursday and I had to go each day without dad because he was still recovering from his biopsy. On Tuesday, it was one of the instructors birthdays and he likes to wear knee socks so they had a photo with everyone that wore long socks. I was amazed when over half of the team stepped forward. What a bunch of geeks.

Neurofeedback
Dad was pretty excited to get me started on this. Which sounds ironic, since dad is usually pretty skeptical of alternative medicine and this is, by far, the weirdest one I've done yet. Basically, you are retraining your brain waves through a series of mind games. It's very useful for ADD/depression/anxiety patients and a variety of other ills. I did my first session on Thursday night with Betsy in her home, which is where she holds all her neurofeedback sessions. When I arrived, she asked me a series of questions and told me I was understimulated (which most people are apparently). She also said she wanted her boss (a Dr. Hughes) to help her oversee my treatment since I had a more complicated past than she was used to dealing with. Then she brought me into the next room. There was two laptops next to each other and two chairs. I sat in a very comfortable chair in front of one laptop and she sat in front of the other. She told me to take off my shoes and get comfortable--there was another chair with a pillow on it facing me. Fancy. Then the weirdness began:

She started by measuring my head. She had to fasten the EEG receptors at specific places on my scalp (10.5---I had the remember this number), so it took a while. She first used some gel to "clean" the area and then she applied the EEG cream. This has to be applied for any brainwaves to be picked up. Then she attached the receptors and immediately on her laptop I could see my brainwaves in a bunch of measures. It was so cool! She had to make sure they were reading at a number below 20 (for accuracy I guess) This "session" was only going to be 10 or 15 minutes but normally it would span a half hour period. On my laptop there was a list of words that sounded like games. As soon as I was connected, I reached forward to touch the mousepad but then she reminded me I couldn't do anything when I couldn't make the screen do anything. Everything was in my brain. I was already freaking out. What the heck was I getting into?! We played something called "4mation" A puzzle is "unlocked" piece by piece. When we started, the puzzle started flipping over immediately and I was like, "Wait! I'm not even trying! Are you sure I'm doing this right?" And she was looking at the readings and saying I was doing fine, I was using the right brain waves and I needed to try and relax. So I did. I was okay at first. But then I started yawning. A LOT. The game goes for 3 minutes and then you have to do it again. So the second time, instead of yawning, I started finding myself unable to breathe! I freaked out even more: "I can't breathe, I can't breathe. What's happening? I'm not even doing anything!" She figured out that by hitting just one button, she'd switched modes the second time, so it was easier the third time around, but I was still getting really tired. Every time I yawned, the game stopped briefly. She explained that exercising the brain is a lot like working out at the gym. Every person got tired for the first few weeks immediately following a session. If it weren't for the immediate phsyical effects of being tired, I would have cracked it all up to be bogus, but now I know something was apparently happening...It was amazing what happened: the idea behind my treatment is to regulate my anxiety and especially my sleeping habits. The notion is that I connect relaxing with sleeping so when I am anxious and nervous, I am awake and busy, but when I relax, I get tired. So the treatment is to help me learn how to relax but stay focused and alert. I think it worked because that night every muscle in my back unclenched. I hadn't even discussed my back problems with her so that was a huge indicator I was relaxing. I had to let her know within 24 hours what I was noticing. I'm probably going to set up another appointment soon and I'll let you know how it's going then.

Isn't that freaky?!!

I Babysat
----last night for Negar, a woman I work with. I showed up at 9:30 and played Uno for all of 15 minutes with her 8 year old son (oh gosh, I can't even say his name...I'll royally screw it up. I think was Aurea or something) while she continued getting ready. Then she left with a friend. Negar was supposed to be out until 2 in the morning and she insisted I sleep over. Since I didn't want to fight staying awake until that time only to go home for just five more hours before heading to work, I decided I should stay over too. That was very uncomfortable for me though. Her apartment was really modern and there was a mural of modern art photos that were very...pornographic in nature. I was a little shocked they were right there, where her boy could look at them every day. Aurea was put to bed right before they left. I didn't even see him disappear with his mom because her friend was talking to me about the apartment. So I was just...on my own, after that. I don't even know why they would even call it babysitting. I hardly saw the boy. I did see a lot of Negar though. She kept coming back. Like three times. She told me at work today she had a bad night-lost her phone, lost her card, car got towed, etc. It was pretty horrible sounding. I slept in Aurea's room. Only his bed was made of wood. For an 8 year old, a relatively light cushion is all you need. For me, I could feel the hard wood right through the sheets. I tried the floor for a while but that was even harder and finally got adjusted on the bed around 3 in the morning. Then I got up and went to work at 7 in the morning. And its a Saturday so it was freaking chaotic. And I was there till 2 and I didn't get any breaks because I always work less than 8 hours. Let me compare one spa guest attendant working on a saturday to bussing a restaurant on your own during busy hour...only worse. It really is. The mall was busy, but the spa was freaking full. So I was pretty dang exhausted when I got home today.

I went to costco to get some chicken alfredo for dinner for the next couple of nights. Dad's gone on his annual baseball trip so I'm home alone over the weekend. And tomorrow morning I get to go back to the spa. Joy.